Week 39 - Natural or C sect?

And so the scan for amniotic fluid didnt have much conclusion.  Gynae say its low but not super low.

We decided to soft book for c sect on 11th Nov.  (wanted 8th but the dates given were 7, 9 and 10th).

Had a mental/ emotionl breakdown yt while walking tui during his evening walk. He shat in the morning but i know he still has shit to offload.  Walked him over to sculpture park but he kept pulling me in diff directions. I will be ok if im not carrying that very heavy bump and had a hard time pulling him back,  feeling all hot and pekcek.  I knew my limit was almost up. Its like the building up of frustrations and i kept telling tui pls pls faster shit.  Cos if u miss this round of shitting chance,  u most probably have to wait till tomorrow.

After 30min he finally shat a full bag and we went home. But that was also when i couldnt take it anymore and jus cried like fuck the moment i reached home.

Abit siao la but felt so much better after crying. Lehubz didnt realise but after tt he comforted me.

Both of us werent feeling our best these few weeks,  partly due to stress from guessing when the baby might come.  Living in nervous mode every night, the physical gaoweh ness for me, external factors from our families and work for him.

Every thing just came at the same time and we felt the house energy was also affected.

Times like this i hope we can jus go for a short break and get a breather.  Away from baby stuff,  away from other ppls opinion and advices and negative energies.

3 more days to meet baby and i hope we can uplift the energy in our home to welcome this lil one.

So i woked up today and googled how to remove negative energy from home LOL.

Ok,  with my bump i cant do much or get the necessary.  So the best i could do was to start packing the hse (decluttering). Kept the laundry and folded them,  cleaned the tv console and diffuse some essential oil.

Will probably play some nicer music later on.. 

Too bad my reiki havent reach the level where i can cleanse the space energy.
Neither do i have himalayan salt lamp or sage to cleanse the space or crystal to help with it. 

Aiya think next time ba!  Gonna chill for the rest of the noon. Faster weekend sia sibeh sian. 

Note to self

Pregnancy makes me realise that,  sometimes we cant control or plan anything as much as we would love to. 

We can only leave it to fate and the universe, and trust that all will be good,  and it happens for a reason. 

Week 38 + ??? - Natural or C Sect

Ok so we went for our weekly gynae appointment last Saturday. Hoping to know when baby will come out or if i can induce.

But gynae say amniotic fluid still not enuf / he cant see thru his machine. Baby head thou turned but still considered high. Also checked my cervix and its not dilated yet (mega sian) . And from my swelling,  im still not getting enough rest. Had to schedule to do a scan at tmc facility on Monday (today):

So here are the options laid:
1. If fluid is enough to keep baby safe,  then we can wait longer and see when he ownself come out.

2. If really not enough, then its better we schedule a c sect than to risk a failed induction (due to baby head not engaged,  or dilation not enough). This option is still better than emergency c sect lah.  Tmd sibeh ex.

Tbh after the checkup i was rather disappointed and sian. Despite walking quite alot (ppl say walk more easier to dilate),  climbing stairs at work etc,  end up still must c sect.  And feels like the past 1.5 to 2 weeks of being paranoid of labour is a waste of time and energy.

But oh well i guess i dont have a choice yea. Can only do whats best for the baby and pocket.

***

Went back to in law hse ytd for dinner and sil ask me how?  What did the doc say?  Can natural anot? 

Didnt know how to reply (if can natural who dont want).  And last time she did say before no matter what , try to go for natural.  Blablabla.

And then they commented and say my tummy still high..  Confirm not so fast.  (this one hear already lagi sian because i was really hoping baby come out like early , been waiting since start of 37 th liao) den she say like tt sure over due one. 
Sigh,  sometimes these comments meant no harm but seriously not constructive.  Worse is after that my mil oso start saying my tummy ya very high,  last time her one drop till where.  Mine sure not so fast.

And then they decided / jio us next sunday for dinner to celebrate grandma birthday.  I say orh,  ok,  if baby havent come out.  And they insisted wont so fast.  Sure can one.  (in a way just want us to say yes and ok) . But helloooo.  Its 39th week already leh.  Even if havent seh tbh also very hard and gaoweh to go out and eat liao...  Lehubz tried to tell them,  you never know when the baby will come and its not within our control.  But they insisted and so we said ok lor. 

My feet swelled up quite badly during the dinner and thank god for my awesome hub for helping me to do a long long foot massage when we got home. Really thankful and felt lots of 💞. Thanks to him, i dun feel so lonely and pekcek as much (as some friends)  because I know he will standby me. 

That aside.  Its the scan later on that determine how and when baby gonna come out. 

I hope the days ahead will be of less nonsense but i can foresee alot of ppl giving me more unnecessary comments and advices 😧

Please please please let me have the strength to brave and tide through them! 🙏

Week 38 - Baby, you want come out liao mai?

This week was a mixture of different feelings. Zhunzhun 38th weeks today on Wed.

Everyday / every night paranoid and counting down to babys arrival.

Met up with le bff for Marutama ramen and yummy cakes in the noon, catching up on life. My initial plan was to go hone after 2 hours so I can have a quick nap after that but got so carried away we only parted at 4 plus 5 pm.

We had a impromptu celebration for Tuitui gotcha day with Aiden and his jiejies coming over. They are sooo nice to have bought him a cake, gift and treats!! Denden as usually was so excited to meet his bro and come into the house that he did a few funny barks 😂

Came the night when I was soooo tired but couldnt fall asleep despite gg to bed at 10pm. Twist and turn till 3 plus 4 am before I can finally sleep. (oh this was sunday night)

Monday night was me gg to bed at 11 plus and waking up around 4/5am AND THEN CANNOT SLEEP till 7 plus am when i napped on the living room sofa instead. Zzz

Spent the next day bathing Tui (sibeh xiong ah but he was very cooperative, i dont have to drag him only 骗它到 the toilet and he gave a worried face. So i sat there and told him this is probably the last time i can bath him before a long time and after awhile he walked inner by himself).

Kio the rubbish and some laundry. Finished up my half done CNY bows, took pictures, edited them and even manage ti finish doing the posters. Lol damn efficient yesterday.

For the n-th time i dreamt that i had successfully delivered baby out.

Eh hello bro. Last day of Oct liao, u wan come out anot? Today 31st oct is a good date leh. All the zehzeh and aunty in sg. Tml onwards ur god mother go hongkong sia.

And tbh a part of me hopes that u can be an oct baby instead of a november one.

On a happier note, I slept at 1 plus ytd and had quite a good sleep till 7plus this morning so im very happy now.

Shoud i try to vacumme the bed later? Hmm.. And maybe start working on your Silent Book (for training your motor skills next time).. See how ba!! First, need to think of breakfast!

Ok bai.

Week 37 - Counting down at home

Okay the time is finally here. The start of my "break" but isit really a break?

Day 1 at home was quite bad because I was feeling damn tired and pain everywhere. Woked up with a twisted or swollen vein on my left foot. Went to run errand at Compassone to drop cheque, had breakfast and walked back home already want my life. It sucked because i use to be able to move around so carefreely and now I can only take super small and slow steps. Not i dont want, but i cant increase the speed. Is like when you cross the road the car want bang u already but u cant do anything lol.

Sort of sprained my the other feet when i was walking tui in the evening. Sibeh sian. Stayed home and made bowties for 4 hours straight. And I also managed to update baby album to keep it on track.

On a happier note, lehubz went to buy Chinatown guotie for me cos i said i tot of eating that for breakfast ♥

Mama cooked codfish and bring over together with a nice cup of EAC blue coral milk tea. Shiok man.

...

Today is day 2.

Quite happy that i woke up to pee only at 6am in the morning inside of 2 3 4 5 am. Means i get longer quality sleep.

Walked tui in the morning, went down to buy cornflakes and milk for breakfast.
Sorted my bowties inventory, Sang for awhile, updated my website and marketing stuff, ironed lehubz shirt, kio the house, put bedsheet for nanny bed, took down the laundry and folded them, packed my whole freaking cupboard that is loaded with clothes that i couldnt fit.
Gonna do another AC in awhile.

Dear Aiden, please dont suddenly come out this 2 days ok. I want to eat hai di lao tomorrow night. See you on saturday!! Byebye.

Week 36 - Swab Test and Whopping Cough Jab + Happy 2 years Anniversary

It's meet the baby day yesterday 15th Oct 18, went for last round of pre-natal massage at Babies Bellies prior to going for the gynae appointment myself. 

Yesterday's session need to do swab test for GBS and had a whooping cough jab (sibeh suan when they inject in but still consider bearable). Baby is 2.8kg (wah your weight please dont shoot up too much okie), and surprisingly my weight didnt gain alot from the last time - 65.6kg. Was expecting to see a 66-67kg liao. 

Lehub specially woke up earlier to try bring Tui down for his morning pee pee walk and this fatty is like a dead piece of log LOL. Even with leash he also just lie there and let u pull. This morning ahwai had to resort to dragging and flipping tui's bed (with tui on it of course) to "pour" him out then manage to get him on his feet and faster leash him out of the room. Jialat this dog. 

Today is our 2 years banquet/ wedding anniversary (lol too many anni to wish). Saw a lil surprise on the dining table the moment i step out of the room and felt a lil tingling of happiness. 

Had a closer look and wonder what was written on this cookie. And, why a beer icon? Turned over and realise no leh, its not from famous amos = its not from singapore = ???

So i texted lehub and ask if its for me? but he didnt reply. 

and so I sent ahjess the picture and she helped me to google translate.....

"Welcome to Munich" it wrote. 

Nabeh. Heng I never anyhow take pic and hao lian or credit him for this "anniversary present" sia!! Malu like hell. 

So end up this is actually given by his Germany supplier cos October Fest. Zzz. And i think he happen to clear his bag and put it on the table. 

#thanks.

Jin jia happy anniversary. 

hahah. ok la on a side note we are going for a pot painting workshop this Sunday as part of the celebration. Last year we tried Pottery. HAhaha next year dunno can do wad liao. 

Week 34/25 - Reiki 1 workshop and what baby told teacher

New Milestone Clocked! 

Time flies and its finally the time to attend the long await Reiki 1 course. Looking back, I first came across Reiki when I was learning Animal Communications back in nov 2016. I thought it was a cool skill to learn so I can use it to heal and help animals too. Had plugged that into my to learn list in future but due to $$$ and you know, life goes on.. it wasnt really my priority.

This year, I got to know that Joanne actually teaches Reiki too apart from Animal Comm. And so I have been going to her website in and out to check out the workshops available. Decided to sign on the 2 hr workshop to know more about Reiki for animals. 

After the workshop I contemplated really hard as to whether I should go for the Level 1 course because 1. It cost $450 and 2. Im pregnant and the schedule available is during my last trimester (which i cant predict how my physical state will be like or if im able to cope). 

The original course date was supposed to be on 15 and 16 Sept 18 (Sat & Sun), which clashed with Nee Soon Pet Fiesta. When my friends ask if im joining the event I thought maybe no fate, cause im planning to go for the course. Who knows one day i received a Facebook notif that the Reiki course has been shifted to 6 & 7 October instead. T_T a part of me got worried cause it means even NEARER to my EDD. Will it be too taxing on my body by then? idk..

But what I know is, LOL now im free on 16th Sept to join Pet Fiesta, but i missed the application date. Thankfully I have really nice friends from Happy products to help me check with the organiser to see if I can still apply for a booth. and luckily I managed to squeeze in the last minute. TADAH! 

I asked baby if i should sign up for the Reiki course (still visiting the website page in and out for countless time because im not sure if i should commit). And baby say "Go for it". And so I did. 

Fast forward to this week. Im still mobile, just more tired easily and the swelling of feet #lastwarning. 

The class was a really small one with only 3 of us. I was quite surprise as I had expected more people. Gained alot of new insights about life and about self healing (to reflect on ourselves when we see problems in others). 一言难尽。 During the attunements I saw different things like : Colors. Sunflower around my teacher. Lavender field. Bamboo forest. And for the last attunement i saw 4 different things: 1. Caterpillar transformed into Butterfly, 2. a frog, 3. A shark underwater eating a smaller fish and 4. A wolf in snow area. (teacher says all these are very symbolic and they came in animal forms, perhaps I have affinity with animals this life?). Just recording them down so maybe in years to come I can decipher what do they meant.  

There's this part where we had to partner each other to do Intuitive Reiki Healing where you just follow your heart / intuition on where to position your hands for your partner. And cause we are odd numbered, I was assigned to partner with our teacher. As I closed my eyes, i realised she's going to places like my wrists, fingers, back, near my tummy,  knee cap and ankle. 

After the 10 mins session, she told me "your baby kept talking to me!" 

LOL! SEE!! Actually is can talk one, no joke. She's the 3rd person baby spoke to. 

And my teacher say baby kept telling her to reiki the 产门 (which we dont really know whats that?) but we figure out that he might mean the pelvis where baby will come out from? 

Then she ask me, your baby told me some other things, u wanna know? Of course! HAHAHA but what came afterwards gave me a mixed feeling and emotions. 

She say baby had ask her to Reiki my wrist and fingers because he say I will need to hold his hands to catch hold of him next time as he will be running about, and will need to grab till my wrist hurt. He also asked her to reiki my legs cause they will be tired from chasing him T_T. 

And that he will grow up to be a cheeky boy, but Thank you (to me in advance). 

Dear baby, thank you for being so considerate thou your mother's greatest fear and worry is that you will be over active and I need to catch/ chase you around. ZZZ HAHAH. Maybe this is how life puts me to test (the more u scare, the more u tio). I will try to tell myself next time to be prepared for chasing after you like a mad woman. On the other hand, I ought to be thankful that u are so considerate to get my teacher to help me ease the pain in advance. Thank you too. 

I hope this blog post serves as a motivation/ reminder to myself next time, or when you grow up. May you grow up with all the positive and healthy energy! 

Some random updates of Tuitui <3

Lazy ass

Cuddling beside me... 

One day he decided to look at me with these soulful eyes. 

Aiming for our Macdonald again.. 

We have less than a month to go and im looking forward to meet you :) Till the next update! Byebye!