Hello 2021

Hi buddy, i dreamt of you again last night. Thanks for appearing in my dream.

You were still sick but in better condition. U were sleeping quietly at a corner around us. U could walk some distance. And i tink i saw u licking/taking care of a baby. 

I miss u so...

Hello 2021

Hi buddy, i dreamt of you again last night. Thanks for appearing in my dream.

You were still sick but in better condition. U were sleeping quietly at a corner around us. U could walk some distance. And i tink i saw u licking/taking care of a baby. 

I miss u so...

Goodbye Tui - day 6

Today i smelled tuitui. A faint linger smell of his smelly blanket while i was lying on bed scrolling thru his picture..

Touched around and his blanket was near me, but it had been washed. Definitely not as smelly as before.

Could it be him saying hi?

I hoped so... 

blessed. utterly

Not sure why and how did we even meet these amazing strangers who do sooo much for tui and treat him like their own. Who rush down the moment we need help without even thinking  who dont mind clearing the shit of other's ppl dog. Whom i really dunno how to ever thank them.

dear angels and universe. Please bless my papa, bubu and fam, linda and fam, bui ma and fam and surround them with loving protecting white light always.

With super sincered and grateful heart,

May and tui

Sometimes

Its day 19, and today is the first day that tui has to be alone at home the whole day since diAgnosis as both of us had to go back office and linda is also not working from hone. 

Wore the diaper for him and he actually slept in the room the whole day from 7am to 6plus when i got home. He didnt move or flinch for 7 hrs, and there about occassional shifting so i couldnt see him on camera.

I was so worried tt he will soil himself the whole day and i checked the cctv i think about 20 to 30 times. 

Tried to comm him and he said he went off while leaving his body there since nobody is home, and that he will be back when we are back. To my surprise when i chiong home, he didnt pee at all!!! Neither did he drink or touch his breakfast :/

Brought him out for dinner with papa and gang at punggol container and he was having a time of his life parading in the pram...

That aside.. 

Sometimes i really feel so tired and helpless that i dont have enough time and energy for everything.

My day is basically work, come back settle aiden, settle whatever i can for tui, his food, cleaning him , bringing him for walks, reiki him if got extra time, and massaging him and feeding meds, putting aiden to bed.

This week i had to do 1 hr of self reiki in prep for my reiki2 this weekend. After reiki sometimes i had to clear some animal comm sessions and i al left with no time to really bond with the husband.

And the husband has been very emo these days. Idk how to help. And i am so tired, no matter how i ask him it wont be able to help the situation. I wont have enough love to go around as much as i want to show him some love.

I noe everyday is a routine. And everyday i had no choice but to place him as the last for attention because one too young, one dying.  And i feel selfish for even gg for my reiki course and that i had to spend 1 hr to myself ..

But.. 

I guess i have to hang on...

Not sure if we will ever be happy.

Hang in there Buddy.

So long you wish to hang around, so long you still have the will to live. So long you are not suffering too much, we will be there for you. 

I will carry and lift you whenever you fall.

I will nap and cuddle with you when im working from home.

I will buy you roast chicken/kfc or cook you nice food so long you are willing to.

I will massage you so long you feel good.

We will bring you for more car rides to the beach as a family 

We will let you snuggle up your fav blanket

Thank you for being part of my life tui. Thank you for always looking out for me, protecting me in your own ways and  showering me with your love quietly. 

You know our fav memories are all the same bcos when u are happy, im happy too. 

For now, lets just live in the moment and enjoy everyday together. Every waking moment and day tgt is a celebration. 

I love you. 

To may, with love from may

Every event in your life is a lesson, in preparation to train you, to mould you and to prepare you for your soul purpose / the next phase in life.

If you cant control your ego, your mind, your positive or negative thoughts, it will be even harder for you when you go out to do your own business and be a healer/light worker because then, you will need even more courage, clear mind, detachment from over thinking, positivity and faith to hold on when shitty customers comes. 

Surrender and go with the flow of life. Do what you need to do. Continue to find back the old you with the right mindset. If can do just do, dont even think about how annoying it is. When you really need more time voice out.

Spread love and happiness to the people around you. Manifest good thoughts. 

From here you learn the ropes of building a brand. A chance for you to see things at a wider perspective, how strategist help business streamline their thoughts and come up with a plan/ roadmap. Use these knowledge and apply it to your own businesses in time to come.

Learn wad u should be and not be like so you dont repeat the footstep of others. Appreciate the little good things that are still happening now. Good colleagues, able to end work on time, bosses that are nice and can talk like friends not so much of corporate kind of top down management. 

Pace yourself and your work.

The right job or opportunity will come when you are really ready. When you are grounded. When you are fully equipped with the skills that makes u confident in gg out to the real world.

First, complete your ac level 3. Rmb to talk to a tree.

Then, plan your next step. Reiki level 2?

Go learn iris energy healing?

How to strengthen up your english so you can write better copies to translate on your page

Go for nagomi instructor course? (Where to find the money and time?)

Continue to look around for opportunities might just come knockimg at your door when you are relaxed. 

Go with the flow of life and trust that you are well protected. You are safe. Let go of your ego and do the best for your highest good. 

The highest good might not be a "happy" and smooth career with high paying job. For you wont learn and grow without going through tough times. 

Today is another day, a brand new day for your to carve out happiness. You choose how to live the day. 

Jiayou.