Hello 2021

Hi buddy, i dreamt of you again last night. Thanks for appearing in my dream.

You were still sick but in better condition. U were sleeping quietly at a corner around us. U could walk some distance. And i tink i saw u licking/taking care of a baby. 

I miss u so...

Hello 2021

Hi buddy, i dreamt of you again last night. Thanks for appearing in my dream.

You were still sick but in better condition. U were sleeping quietly at a corner around us. U could walk some distance. And i tink i saw u licking/taking care of a baby. 

I miss u so...

Goodbye Tui - day 6

Today i smelled tuitui. A faint linger smell of his smelly blanket while i was lying on bed scrolling thru his picture..

Touched around and his blanket was near me, but it had been washed. Definitely not as smelly as before.

Could it be him saying hi?

I hoped so... 

blessed. utterly

Not sure why and how did we even meet these amazing strangers who do sooo much for tui and treat him like their own. Who rush down the moment we need help without even thinking  who dont mind clearing the shit of other's ppl dog. Whom i really dunno how to ever thank them.

dear angels and universe. Please bless my papa, bubu and fam, linda and fam, bui ma and fam and surround them with loving protecting white light always.

With super sincered and grateful heart,

May and tui

Sometimes

Its day 19, and today is the first day that tui has to be alone at home the whole day since diAgnosis as both of us had to go back office and linda is also not working from hone. 

Wore the diaper for him and he actually slept in the room the whole day from 7am to 6plus when i got home. He didnt move or flinch for 7 hrs, and there about occassional shifting so i couldnt see him on camera.

I was so worried tt he will soil himself the whole day and i checked the cctv i think about 20 to 30 times. 

Tried to comm him and he said he went off while leaving his body there since nobody is home, and that he will be back when we are back. To my surprise when i chiong home, he didnt pee at all!!! Neither did he drink or touch his breakfast :/

Brought him out for dinner with papa and gang at punggol container and he was having a time of his life parading in the pram...

That aside.. 

Sometimes i really feel so tired and helpless that i dont have enough time and energy for everything.

My day is basically work, come back settle aiden, settle whatever i can for tui, his food, cleaning him , bringing him for walks, reiki him if got extra time, and massaging him and feeding meds, putting aiden to bed.

This week i had to do 1 hr of self reiki in prep for my reiki2 this weekend. After reiki sometimes i had to clear some animal comm sessions and i al left with no time to really bond with the husband.

And the husband has been very emo these days. Idk how to help. And i am so tired, no matter how i ask him it wont be able to help the situation. I wont have enough love to go around as much as i want to show him some love.

I noe everyday is a routine. And everyday i had no choice but to place him as the last for attention because one too young, one dying.  And i feel selfish for even gg for my reiki course and that i had to spend 1 hr to myself ..

But.. 

I guess i have to hang on...

Not sure if we will ever be happy.

Hang in there Buddy.

So long you wish to hang around, so long you still have the will to live. So long you are not suffering too much, we will be there for you. 

I will carry and lift you whenever you fall.

I will nap and cuddle with you when im working from home.

I will buy you roast chicken/kfc or cook you nice food so long you are willing to.

I will massage you so long you feel good.

We will bring you for more car rides to the beach as a family 

We will let you snuggle up your fav blanket

Thank you for being part of my life tui. Thank you for always looking out for me, protecting me in your own ways and  showering me with your love quietly. 

You know our fav memories are all the same bcos when u are happy, im happy too. 

For now, lets just live in the moment and enjoy everyday together. Every waking moment and day tgt is a celebration. 

I love you. 

To may, with love from may

Every event in your life is a lesson, in preparation to train you, to mould you and to prepare you for your soul purpose / the next phase in life.

If you cant control your ego, your mind, your positive or negative thoughts, it will be even harder for you when you go out to do your own business and be a healer/light worker because then, you will need even more courage, clear mind, detachment from over thinking, positivity and faith to hold on when shitty customers comes. 

Surrender and go with the flow of life. Do what you need to do. Continue to find back the old you with the right mindset. If can do just do, dont even think about how annoying it is. When you really need more time voice out.

Spread love and happiness to the people around you. Manifest good thoughts. 

From here you learn the ropes of building a brand. A chance for you to see things at a wider perspective, how strategist help business streamline their thoughts and come up with a plan/ roadmap. Use these knowledge and apply it to your own businesses in time to come.

Learn wad u should be and not be like so you dont repeat the footstep of others. Appreciate the little good things that are still happening now. Good colleagues, able to end work on time, bosses that are nice and can talk like friends not so much of corporate kind of top down management. 

Pace yourself and your work.

The right job or opportunity will come when you are really ready. When you are grounded. When you are fully equipped with the skills that makes u confident in gg out to the real world.

First, complete your ac level 3. Rmb to talk to a tree.

Then, plan your next step. Reiki level 2?

Go learn iris energy healing?

How to strengthen up your english so you can write better copies to translate on your page

Go for nagomi instructor course? (Where to find the money and time?)

Continue to look around for opportunities might just come knockimg at your door when you are relaxed. 

Go with the flow of life and trust that you are well protected. You are safe. Let go of your ego and do the best for your highest good. 

The highest good might not be a "happy" and smooth career with high paying job. For you wont learn and grow without going through tough times. 

Today is another day, a brand new day for your to carve out happiness. You choose how to live the day. 

Jiayou.

Diagnosis and 4 days after vet visit

And so we went to vet last friday after work. And for once tui is weighing 28.8kg (3kg lesser from 2 weeks ago). 

After doing blood test, dr say his symptoms are likely due to tick fever. So we decided to send his blood test to overseas lab and to find out if it is tick fever, and what sort of tick fever.

However there might be other issues as his increase urination is nt part of the tick fever symptom. 

Got him some meds and dr say he should significantly improve in 1 to 2 days. If not he will have to be warded. Which we didnt want to. 

After the first round of med tt night , he actually finished his dinner (first time in whole week plus) near midnight. Still couldnt get up and walk himself but his eyes looks brighter and more lively. 

Saturday he ate treats and showed interest at cheesr again. Still not moving and need assistance to carry his back part up so he can walk. But im thankful that hes showing some improvement already. 

We celebrated aiden bday and for the first time i dont need to separate him from ahpoon 😂 cos tui wont move and thus ahpoon no scare. 

We try to bring him.for more walks a day so he can release himself.

Dr teng called us ytd to follow up on his condition (day 3 sunday) and we told him about the frequent urination still. He say might have a few possibilities. Either gall bladder infection or cushion disease.

But i hope its none of any.

This morning tui is doing better. He slept on aiden mattress last night and took awhile to push himself up , but he manage to get up mostly on his own today. He also pulled me to roof top for our first walk. I stun when he is able to climb up the lower curb area. And his pee also decreased. Only 2 times this round. He also finished a can of kakato omg  ti gong bo bi.

Pls continue to improve and we will be here for u no matter what buddy. Get well soon. We love u.

Dear angels

Dear Angels and animal spirit guides,

Please help to lighten tui's physical uncomfortness and keep him in your prayer and lights. 

We dont know whats exactly wrong with him, but suspect 1. Kidney/liver issues 2. His Lum 3. Old age arthiritis and muscle wastage for the decrease in movement and 4 probably a lil dementia .

Today he lie there in the morning silently and suddenly lehub found him lying in his pool of pee. 

First accident in the 8 yrs i know him. 

Not sure if its the bloat pressing on he bladder till he cannot control.

We have decided to push fprward the vet trip and just head to bark way today afterwork.

Please please bless him and take care of him till we are back. Dont let him suffer and soak in pee for hours.. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

5 years life plans

Penning my goals and thoughts here for future reference.

I finally saved up enough $5 notes to take up level 3 animal comm this dec 2020. And im excited for it! Meanwhile, i will be preparing for my official launch for AC works. Have put this idea on hold for too long (getting a proper page and name set up). My ac cases and clients are mostly by word of mouth..

In between, i have also taken up an online course about animal spirit and messanger. Got an aura book and also about pre birth planning.

Moving on, is reiki level 2. 

If possible i hope to attend a canine/pet massage course, or to learn colour therapy (more for humans) via art. And then nagomi instructor course for future.

And then in future, i have enough sectors to keep income coming in while doing things i like/ feel a sense of passion for.

I like my job now but it isnt wad i wanna do in the long run. Marketing is fun and important but i believe for some biz and cust, u get them when u are ready to expand. 随缘. Instead of tirelessly trying to get more exposure by seeding ppl who do not appreciate us or just to get a shout out.

Nonetheless im thankful for the opportunities and skills to learn here.

I finally know how to use AI and can create my own logo 👍 ok good job maylim.

Good luck in achieving your healing studio dream / foot massage business in future.

Byebye.

Setting myself for my old dog

Hi its me again after disappearing for so long. Covid has changed our lives and the way we live nowadays. Wearing masks every where we go  need to check in check out. But best thing is we get to work from home on somedays. 

That aside..

Tui is 10 this year and thou 10 might not be a super old age as they can live up to 18, hes also considerably a senior dog. 

These days, his appetite decreased. He skip his breakfast kibbles and dinner sometimes only eat few mouths.

He has also been sleeping more than usual except for our walk time.

Lehub recently found a lump at tuis chest while he was hugging him. And we brought him to barkway for a check. Unfortunately we cant detect anything much cos its surrounded by a layer of fats. And to test the egg size lump, will require a surgery (that is as big as my palm) and also $2k just to test.

We decided to wait and monitor as he wasnt feeling any pain. At the same time we engaged another AC to speak to tui (in case im too caught up by my own emotions). He say hes just feeling full. And he feels bloated after his meals. 

I asked if he will give me signs if hes about to pass. He replied : why would i do that? Plus im not leaving soon, didi is still young. (This is probably the greatest 安慰 i have from the session).

But a part of me also feel he might be leaving (not sure when but he wont be living till 18 yrs old.) A saw a view on him lying on my lap chilling at the beach. And idk if thats a sign for me that he wants that to be his last moments. 

Ytd i brought him for walk at roof top, it breaks my heart so much to see how he wanted to go up the grass patch so badly but have no confidence at all. He tried twice but fail and im afraid that he will fall backwards and hurt himself. He also peed 7 to 8 times which is not normal. Cos the 7 to 8 times got alot of pee not like hes trying to mark. And he even peed on concrete! He probably only pee on concrete 5 times or lesser in these 8 years. 

Back at home i tried to apply hot compress on him with essential oil. Not sure if my reiki works cos i havent been practicing on myself. But nontheless i jus try.

After bawling my eyes at roof top seeing how he became, hub carried him on our bed ( so its warmer n softer, he usually slps better thruout). I couldnt slp. 

Twist n turn and hear tui moving around like hes uncomfortable as well. And then he decided to go down. Which is wad im most worried of esp with his weak legs now. On his way down he fell before i could catch him. ☹☹☹☹😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

And he lied there the whole night. I didnt dare to move him also.

Luckily morning he manage to walk and seems to be fine.

But this brings me to another point. 

Is he hanging on cos of my emotional attachment to him?

Am i delaying him?

Is he trying to teach me to separate my own emotions with healing works?

Is he here to "force" me to start practicing reiki daily on myself so i can progress?

Will he be here only till i start to kick off my ac biz officially?

Will he be there to grow with me?

Sometimes i feel im a failure cos i read so many spiritual book, attended courses etc and i jolly well know its its not goodbye even if they leave the world. I also noe the body is just a shell. But tbh i cant take the thought of him leaving even thou i have been preparing myself for the day bit by bit everyday. 

And he is the only one by far that makes my heart ache just bcos he couldnt be himself. Ytd night i told myself, hes just getting old. Hes not dying. If anything, we will just try to fix it. Just like how im sick or ppl get old, they lived with it and carry on with life. But another part of me cannot. 

This, is probably my job to work on myself. So i can cry but not to over worry, putting my emotional baggages on him, and causing him to hang on and suffer. I would rather he leave like toytoy, peacefully with us around and still in good shape.

Will try to fix 2nd opinion this sunday.

Fingers crossed.

Most rewarding and touching moment of motherhood

Hello, its been 15 months and 2 weeks since the little boy came into our world. There are sleepless nights and crazy poo moments but im really thankful to have him as my son.

The first moment i felt relieve and happy and awwww was when he had his firsr cry when he came out. I seldom say baby cries are cute but that moment, i really felt omg how can a baby cry be so adorable. #okaymotherfangirlmodeon 

I wanna pen this down to remember how touched i am to hear him call "mama and papa" sweetly. Low key happy when he introduce me to strangers by Pointing at me and say "mama" to them.

And also when he gives me big hug like a little koala bear. I will try to carry u with as long as i can thou i often get lazy after awhile hahahah. Hands suan deh.

Pls grow up to be a happy and healthy boy. Stay cheeky always u sneaky baby.

We love u.

2020 resolution

Hello blog,

Ive been setting new year resolutions every year, and most of the time losing weight is on the top of the list, but always never achieve. 

2016, i took up animal comm course and modern calligraphy workshop which changed my life and also opened a whole new world towards animals.

2017, i took a break from aiming to lose weight and instead, my goal was to attend more courses/workshops to enriched myself in areas im interested in. So i took on online animal communication courses, and doodling classes. 

It was also a year of freedom, interms of commitment. I get to go all out for Making Mermaids, chiong every event i can and make as many bows despite having to sleep late.

2018, pregged with aiden, i had alot more brain cells free time due to my new job. Still striving on for MM whenever i can despite the big belly. And I managed to attend a reiki course right before my due date. 

2019 passed by just like this. And tbh i couldnt really remember what i achieved this year except i survived motherhood. I still participated in some events for MM but its honestly quite draining. With the changes of manpower in my new job, by the time i end work my brain is totally fried.  On a hind sight, i finally touched photoshop and attended a 1 day pets reiki workshop.

2020. Signed up for my Animal Comm level 2 workshop despite having online certs up till level 3 because i wanna find out tuitui purpose in my life as well as our past lives in level 3.

I really miss the days where im so connected to the dog industry. Be it the prosucts / pet shops /latest info or animal welfare. But lately i realise ive been so detached because my life is only made up of babies and baby brands. Sigh... I had to park MM aside because my time and energy is also that much. And if i force myself to chiong, i feel more stress than enjoyment (which was wad its supposed to be when i started it). 

Maybe one day.. One day i will be able to do wad i like to do and what my heart really wants. To be able to earn money for a living, and having excess to do more for the animals.